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Grandfathers Blog/ Steve Doyne



mygrandfathersblog Maggie Doynes fathermygrandfathersblog Maggie Doynes father 

This is a blog post by Maggie Doynes father Steve Doyne. Maggie is the founder of blinknow.org and runs the Kopila Valley Childrens Home in Surkhet Nepal. Steve has resided, by his own admission, at the Kopila Valley Childrens Home for over 5 years. I discovered this post in January 2016 and wrote to the blinknow board about my concerns about Steve Doynes behavior and writings. I had expressed my concern previously to Maggie in 2013 about her father being in a 13 year old girl room at 11:00 p.m. giving her a massage. At that time she told me he was going to be removed from the home. 

Here is the copy of the post Steve Doyne wrote on Oct. 8, 2015. I brought this post to the boards attention in a letter to share my concern, again about his inappropriate behavior. The blog post was removed but Steve still remained living at the Kopila Valley Childrens Home.

I shared Mr. Doynes post on my facebook page, explaining that my business Mia Amicas Globally and I personally were cutting all ties with Blinknow, Kopila Childrens Home and Maggie Doyne.  Within hours of posting, 7 volunteers, fellows, donors and sponsors contacted me sharing their concerns about Steves behavior and telling me that additional complaints had been made to the blinknow board. I also learned, they too were told Steve was removed from the home when in fact he actuality remained. 

The board to date has not offered any explaination of how they were going to resolve this issue.

My Grandfather's Blog

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Thursday, October 8, 2015

Listen

MoonRacer - Glow

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I was awoken from a dream by a voice, "Awaken, make coffee, drink the coffee but do not eat anything, bathe and dress for a walk, no camera. Go outside the gate and you will know where to go. I easily followed the instructions, went out the gate, and across the street Goma's mother was loading bags for Goma to carry somewhere. I went over and asked if she wanted help. Goma looked at her Mom questioningly and her mother nodded yes, it was alright.

I motioned as to ask where she was going, she pointed toward the jungle, and said "Auntie, jungle." I picked up the heavier of the two bags, put it over my good shoulder and off we went. The bags were heavy and I saw the reason for the coffee. Goma is very wiry and energetic in her day to day life, somewhat of a tomboy, albeit a quiet, invisible one. She took the initiative to stop every quarter mile or so to drop the bag, rest a minute and start again. I was grateful for the regular stops and it afforded the opportunity to observe how beautiful the morning was before sunrise.

Within about a half hour we arrived at the water mill near the jungle, where the water in the nali gets diverted to the thick lush flat area between the two roads that lead to the jungle. We turned into the fertile area and soon arrived at a small two story brick home. Her Auntie was in the garden weeding and watering the plants. I was amazed at the size and scope of the garden, the variety of vegetables and fruits growing with the abundant source of water that was available. I could have stayed there for quite some time but the Auntie and Goma were having a serious conversation which somehow involved me, judging by the hand motions and facial expressions.

The Auntie asked me if I had eaten anything and I said no, only coffee. She nodded approval and pointed in the opposite direction from which we had come to the house and motioned for me to go with Goma. She said the vegetables were not picked, cleaned and ready yet and that she would have them ready by the time Goma brought me back. We had apparently carried dried goods, sugar, flour, rice, teas, etc. in exchange for fruits and vegetables which Goma's family would eat and sell in their shop. I often wondered where the variety of quality fruits and vegetables had come from. Now I knew first hand.

I went with Goma through this lush beautiful community that I had never taken the time to walk through despite the many times I had walked the two roads mornings and evenings. We soon came to a rise walking through a ravine that appeared to go up to a terrace up above. But before we got up to the terrace we turned left and went into what appeared to be a short tunnel of about 30 yards or so to what appeared to be a lush jungle at the other end. A stream also ran through the tunnel. When we came out of the tunnel there was an arbor type structure with a bench. An older woman was sitting there next to a small wood stove where she was grinding some type of root similar to ginger.

She motioned for us to sit. She boiled water and made tea for us. I was again asked if I had eaten anything and Goma assured her I hadn't. She gave us some brief instructions. Goma had obviously been here before and assured the woman I would be fine with the simple rules required for entrance. The woman handed Goma a small bag and Goma disappeared into an outdoor toilet room/dressing room with the bag. When she returned she was wearing the most beautiful cotton muslin outfit I have ever seen anywhere. It was adorned with brilliantly colored butterflies which appeared to be real. Goma handed me a bag and motioned for me to go and change.

Moonracer - Even The Stars

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When I took the clothing out of the bag I actually gasped and teared up a bit as the cotton t-shirt had a beautiful giant sun, rising over a pyramid that was above the ground. It took me back to a reading I had been given by an artist many years ago who did a painting which represented my energy field. I was a sun that was underground trapped as a giant pyramid sat atop the ground not permitting the sun to rise. The beautifully hand painted t-shirt was symbolically the opposite with a sun given free expression in the sky above the pyramid. The shorts were a blue bathing suit style made of some natural quick drying material with a draw string waist.

When I came back and sat down the tea was ready. The woman walked around Goma and I chanting some form of prayers in Nepali, at times singing lyrically beautiful sounds and words that were transforming and mesmerizing. We then were handed cups of tea and we drank the tea. Goma closed her eyes and seemed to go into a type of trance like state so I closed my eyes and soon entered a similar state. The tea reminded me of Kava Kava in taste and had some ground up organic matter which could have been some form of mushroom, I couldn't tell exactly. It was seasoned with herbs to make it more tasty and comfortable to drink. The more I drank the better it tasted.

We sat in a quiet trance like state for a good 15 minutes and then I was offered another cup of tea and accepted it. Goma was given a half cup more as she is tiny, not weighing much and she is only 13 years old. She seemed comfortable and content with the amount offered to her. We drank the tea and sat with eyes open as the woman played a bamboo flute that was beautiful and soon there were birds accompanying her,  gathering and sitting nearby in the trees in what appeared to be an arboretum type environment with the stream continuing through the middle of it leading to a lush jungle, the sound of a waterfall now becoming audible to me as my body relaxed fully.

I closed my eyes and said a prayer of gratitude for this gift that was given so freely to me by this child and her family. When I opened my eyes, Goma was standing before me with a hand reached out toward me, pulling me to my feet and slowly we began walking down a path along side the stream. We had entered a world within a world in our valley that was vast and invisible to our everyday lives in this valley. The trail widened with the stream widening as well, having cut and flattened logs across it enabling the trail to crisscross back and forth along both sides of the stream.

MoonRacer ~ Shangri La

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I saw a slow transformation in Goma as she became more uninhibited and open with me holding my hand, reaching out putting an arm around me as we crossed the stream, as we climbed over boulders and leaned under overhanging branches and encroachments on the trail. We were soon like two old friends reconnecting after much time away. Soon we arrived at a pond fed by the waterfall we had been walking toward. There were fruit trees surrounding the pond with large flat boulders to sit on and lay on near the waterfall, with some covered in soft moss warm to the touch in the filtered sunlight.

I began to feel a little lightheaded and sat down on one of the rocks. Goma waded into the water a bit and then she appeared lightheaded as well and laid down next to me on the rock motioning me to lay back as well and close my eyes. There was a sudden rush of energy which elicited sighs from both of our bodies, followed by deep uncontrolled breathing, our bodies responding naturally to whatever was in the tea. Then a stillness came over both of us with more of a deep relaxed breathing continuing in each of us.

I went deep into myself and lost awareness of her presence for an unknown amount of time. Difficult to put into words, a flood of insights about my recent life circumstances and a sense of ease and acceptance for what is and was, came over me. A long period of communing with nature, the sound of the waterfall, birds, the breeze, the gentle warmth of the sun, the occasional spray of water from the wind blown water from the waterfall. Then I heard splashing and the sound of a child's laughter, and opened my eyes and was reminded that I was with Goma. She was swinging on a rope swing shrieking with joy and laughter as she zoomed out over the water, letting go and gasping as she hit the cool water, gasping again as her head came out of the water, paddling over to the boulders getting out and laying in the sun to get warm. Seeing that I was back in her presence she wrapped her body around me in an effort to get warm and soon she was up again, grabbing my hand and saying "come Grandfather", pulling me over to the rope swing.

It had a wooden seat suitable for sitting or standing on. She motioned for me to sit and then stood on it straddling me, motioning me to push off with my feet sending us soaring out over the water, with her leaping from the swing at the furthest point. I let go and entered the water when I was far enough away not to land on her. As I hit the water a rush came over me and the sound of a young boy stunned by the cool water came out of my body. When I came back up out of the water she was still laughing uncontrollably at my response. The look on her face, followed by her thoughts flooding into my brain told me that my experience and expression was similar to what her first time was like here at this very spot.

She swam over to me and wrapped her body around mine, looking deeply into my eyes and a flood of thoughts sharing her feelings and her appreciation for everything I have been in her life these past five years and what it has meant to her and to girls and boys in this community. I began to see that she wasn't closed off and hiding to the extent I thought she was. That she was mirroring my own stuff to me. My own closure and my response to my own circumstances and the chain of lives I was integrating.

I was up to my neck in water and cold and she was not letting go so as I took in all her thoughts I began to walk over to the boulders in the sunlight to get warm. I carried her up onto the largest boulder in full sunlight, that had a light bed of moss on it and we laid down and looked into each others eyes face to face with her body still wrapped around me. It had been so long since anyone was so open with me and hugging me that I had another rush and release of energy as I breathed deeply sharing a flood of my own thoughts with her about her culture, touch and all the taboo's about kissing and how being one who communicates through touch, I often felt like a stranger in a strange land. I told her that it saddened me that children were taught that kissing was impure to the point that they wiped off kisses.

She explained it quickly and succinctly and said that the culture believed it made life much easier for both girls and boys and it fit in perfectly with the concept of arranged marriages which followed. It reminded me of a conversation I had with Alina once about how she dealt with an older boy who wanted to date her. Then Goma asked me the "What is it like question" that I get from older girls I am close with.  I've never had anyone this young ask me about sex. My answer was as quick and succinct as her response was in regards to my thoughts about touch and taboo's in the culture.  It was geared toward a 13 year old and I could feel my guide Aphrodite assisting me with my reply. Goma said she had a few dreams about boys that were confusing and I told her it was normal as her hormones settled in. We had a few funny moments talking about boys in this culture. I laughed so hard at her responses to my comments about boys, it hurt... and I saw that it wasn't at all frustrating for her and her peers, as I often thought it was watching them in it.

Moonracer - Shiro 

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She asked about all the scars on my arms and the blood she often saw on the back of my left shoulder and I explained the history of my relationship with the sun, the ensuing lesions that began as my hormones began to fade and quiet down in my life. She lifted my shirt up and took a good look at the active lesion on the back on my left shoulder. She got up and went into the jungle for a few minutes and came back with a few leaves and mud, removed my shirt and quickly ground up the leaves with a stone and mixed it with mud, gently massaging it into the lesion.

Then back toward the water she went as she began to get hot again. She dove into the water, floating around the pond on her back looking up at all the puffy white clouds in the sky. I began to look up as well laying back on the rock. For untold moments the cloud shapes spoke to me as they often have done at various times in my life. Then I became aware of dripping water over me as she was back wrapping her body around mine again to get warm and dry again. The thoughts were flowing between us with crystal clarity in a language we both understood.

She rolled us over so I was on my back with her on top of me, tucked her arms across her chest and asked me to crack her back as I do all the younger children in the neighborhood. To both of our amazement her whole spine cracked from the base of her spine right up to her neck. She rolled off of me in laughter as her whole body shook in a release of energy I never thought possible. Then just as quickly she motioned to me to roll over, straddled my back and put all of her weight onto my back cracking my spine in the same fashion from top to bottom, something not having occurred ever in this lifetime, sending me into a release of energy that went on for about 15 minutes, with her going back into the water for another swim.

Then seeing her floating again on her back I ran to the rope swing and dive bombed her in typical Nepali boy fashion totally surprising her. As my head came out of the water she was all over me, slapping water at me and then tickling me until wrapping herself around me again. I carried her out of the water and we went over to the fruit trees and picked some fruit to eat. We sat in the sun on the moss eating fruit silently enjoying every mouthful.

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With the sun almost directly overhead now it got very hot and we both had the same thought that it was time to head back to that other world that existed through the tunnel in the ravine near the jungle in our valley. I thanked her for bringing me. She told me I probably wouldn't remember any of what took place when I wake up tomorrow in the morning. I reminded her of my age and situation with short term memory and she laughed and said "Oh yeah, well I hope you don't forget me". To which I responded, "not possible", and reminded her that she is the only person who had openly and unabashedly hugged me in the last 3 years. To which she responded, "Oh about that, this never happened..." and I made a promise to her that her openness was safe with me and that she had nothing to be ashamed of... to which she replied with no laughter..."Nepali Culture"...

 

The walk back to the entrance was beautiful. She showed me things I hadn't noticed on the way in to the pond and waterfall. We looked under some of the footbridges at frogs and lizards and an occasional water snake. The diversity of trees amazed me and I secretly wished the whole valley was this wet and green all year long. I asked her if she ever dreamed about this place and she surprised me by saying no, but that she is sure she will now. I looked at her and was flooded with the thought I have heard over and over again..."Grandfather, you love us more than our own parents do, and you demonstrate it in a million different ways every day of our lives in ways that continue to shock us in the way you acknowledge us and touch us deeply in subtle and not so subtle little ways...

I looked at her and we both simultaneously thought, "today, you have changed me forever" and out of our heads came the simultaneous thought, "toot toot, you owe me a penny"... and before I could say how do you know that, she said Bogati, Bipana, they talk sometimes...

And we walked back to our lives... and since she had told me that I won't remember it in the morning I have written it all down so I won't forget a single thing....

Steve Doyne at 4:04 AM

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